Good morning, Dear Ones.
Blessed new year to you and your family and your loved ones. I can't believe it is now January of a new year of 2025.
It seemed like yesterday, a few days ago we were still in the throes of 2024. And I wonder what has really changed in the course of a few days. We make such a big deal of the transition into a new year here in Western society, actually all across the world. And while there's lots of celebration festivities, I often sit back and wonder, what has really changed between yesterday, December 31st and January 1st aside from a potential shift in perspective and perhaps a shift in our desires. While the outer western world is on to productivity again after what seems to be a few days of rest and festivities, I am pushed up against a resistance to do anything, but continue to sit and hold on to the quiet. To rest in the fertile darkness, the calm, the un-doing. I want to hold on to the rest of this winter season.
If I lived in a place where the seasons were distinct and very obvious, I imagine it would be easier to slow down and to rest. Instead on the second of this year, the second day of this year, I felt this compulsion, this uncomfortable feeling creep up. This feeling that I needed to be waking up and to begin the outputting of my efforts again, and make sure I started to share all of my offerings for the month of January in fear that if I didn't maybe no one would show up or join. I think of this quote, or belief system rather, that “the early bird gets the worm.” Except even the birds are resting in the winter season. Perhaps not so much in southern California, where I reside as the temperature has been uncommonly were warm.
And you know, as I sit here having my morning tea and I continue to watch my mind-stream, my conditioning and my habituated ways of being and the belief systems that I have picked up in my younger years cemented through the decades of working hard and producing…and how uncomfortable it makes me feel inside my body to lean into the opposite. The opposite is continuing to move slow, continuing to rest. I watch all the ways I shift into planning and manipulating and creating in my mind. All of this birthed out of fear that somehow I will be left behind. That I will be left behind if I don't get on it. I have to very proactively reject this habituated patterning and to move against this current and choose another path. In fact, I am so very committed to moving in synch with the seasons that I have decided I will cancel some of the offerings and ease up on my schedule…on my agenda. This agenda that is co-created alongside my fear and old familiar childhood wounding…and I will actively lean into trust, actively feed my belief systems of abundance. And that I don't have to hop back onto the hamster wheel to validate my own sense of worth. And more importantly that I am right on time. I am right on time outside of this manufactured concept of time that our entire western civilization seem to abide by. This manufactured concept of time that's been made holy.
Well, what is holy?
What is holy for me, is slowing down. What is holy for me, is listening in closely to what is being asked of me. What is holy to me is moving away from habituated beliefs and ways of being to find the true heart beat of my own soul, and let it guide me.
I believe the noise of my fears and doubt will lessen over time if I simply stay awake and stay the course.
Let's close our eyes together and slow down together.
Enjoy the sweet meditation.
Until next time,
Grace
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